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Date: 17/02/15 - 10:39 am Title: Chapter 7
Maria! This is so well-written and well thought out; the world you've developed is so easy to be absorbed in, and it feels more like I'm reading an actual fantasy novel than anything. Each of the characters are interesting and none of them seem like fillers; I especially love Michael's nickname of "little boss" for Clara. Honestly, this reads like a published book. Please, keep writing!
Date: 16/02/15 - 08:10 pm Title: Chapter 7
Ayyyyy always happy to provide any sort of support for a story!
I'm surprised that no one has rained on Clara's parade yet. I mean, Calum may be alive but that doesn't mean that he isn't being tortured or undergoing experimentation right as she speaks. Obviously he's being put to some use by whoever took him otherwise why would he have been taken?
You know what I think is going on, they're taking the wizards so that they can dissect them or something to find out what gives them magic and what doesn't give others magic. They could be taking something from the wizards and putting it into the non-wizards to try and force these non-wizards to accept whatever they're trying to put into their body and it's just not working out. They're probably trying to forve peoples DNA to change or something.
Date: 12/02/15 - 05:55 pm Title: Chapter 6
I love how you have such a diverse cast of characters in your story, you don't see that a lot in fic. Second of all, I just knew Clara was going to make a detour. I just knew it, and of course she did. Every time a character is in a situation like this where you need to get from point A to point B there's always a detour that they're not supposed to take and almost always ends badly. At least she didn't die though.
Whatever that creature was that was climbing on the walls, it sounds like a demented version of a Dementor to be honest. I'm so glad I'm not reading this in the dark right now, the last thing I need is to be scared of going to sleep.
Okay, so instead of respoding to all of them I decided to put all of my response to the last one. First off, thank you very much for your genuine interest and excitement over the things that happened in the story, and thank you for leaving feedback! It really, truly means the world to me and receiving the email notification that someone had reviewed gave me the motivation to get back into it. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you.
Michael is honestly one of my favorite characters to write in this story. As you said, he's a really chilled guy who doesn't take a lot of things seriously, but when you mess with someone he cares about deeply he won't have any mercy on you. He's a genius desguised as a childish guy who likes dyeing his hair every full moon and eating Lilly's homemade cookies. In a lot of ways his relationship with Clara is similar to the one she has with Calum. Nix is great! We'll get to know her more as the story progresses and Clara truly becomes part of the crew, but she's a very mature, easy going, and strong gal!
Describing "the creature" really gave me goosebumps. I can imagine it so clearly in my head and though I love it, it really is frightening and I can't imagine how I'd react if I saw that thing in the middle of the night running towards me! haha
Clara is learning a lot. She's a lot of more scared than she shows (to Ashton and others) but she knows there's really no one she can turn to, at least for now. Calum's gone, her parents died, and Mei's keeping low. She was forced to grow up from day to night, and now that she's thrown in all of this mess her ability to handle situations has been put to the test. She's grasping tightly to however much sanity she has left and pushing through; she knows it's her only option and she's tired of crying.
I think that's it, in any case, thank you very much for reading!! ^^ xxx
Date: 12/02/15 - 05:05 pm Title: Chapter 5
I love Michael's happy-go-lucky attitude. He seems like such a chill guy but I get the feeling that if you mess with him or someone that he cares about then he'll destroy you.
My favourite person has to be Nix, she seems so chill and she's a mechanical engineer! I mean, she's gotta be wicked smart and I love it when there are wicked smart characters in stories. I've only just met her but Nix is already kick ass in my head.
Clara is also a kick ass character, I admire the fact that she doesn't take any trash from anyone and how she stood up to Ashton. That had to take some guts to do. And it's also probably a good thing that she's the new Healer on the ship since I was a little worried that Michael's only qualification for the job was reading a lot.
Date: 12/02/15 - 04:40 pm Title: Chapter 4
Everything was all calm and normal and then things just escalated very quickly. I can't imagine how Clara must be dealing with leaving her best friend behind. She's lost her parents and now her best friend. If she manages to keep it together after this I will be very surprised and have some serious respect for this girl.
That ending though, I honestly hadn't expected Ashton to show up, I thought he might've been disguised but I never thought that he would actually show up! I'm so excited to see what happens next!
Date: 06/02/15 - 11:18 pm Title: Chapter 3
OH MY GOSH THERE IS SO MUCH MYSTERY I AM LOVING THIS! I love how Clara doesn't just sit back and let things happen around her. If she's going to accidentally get involved with something then she might as well do it properly and get as much research done as possible. I admire that about her to be honest, I mean obviously it's a little scary being in a situation like hers but she's managing to keep a cool head about it.
"He doesn't sound like a criminal," is probably the funniest thing I've read fic!Calum say because Ted Bundy didn't look like a psychopath but that's exactly what he was.
Date: 30/01/15 - 10:37 pm Title: Chapter 2
I really love your writing, the way that you write your description allows me to actually picture the scene in my head. Some authors have great description but for the life of me I can't see any of the setting and characters in my head but you're not one of them. I could picture the entire exchange between Clara and Ashton vividly and I could even imagine what the rain sounded like. This excites me more than it probably should but I just don't come across writing like this every day.
Just one thing that I kind of wanted to point out, I know that there's only so many synonyms for elixir out there but at the same time, it begins to feel a little repetitive when you use the word so often throughout the story or a paragraph. So maybe you could switch it up, for example instead of saying "your elixir is ready" it could be something along the lines of "your order is ready/finished" but that's just a suggestion so feel free to ignore me. Oh, and also, in England, they've got NHS which is National Health Services (I could be wrong about the S) so you aren't handed a bill when you leave a hospital therefore you have no hospital bills to pay and you don't end up in debt over something like that, I just figured I'd point it out since you mentioned that Clara had hospital debt. Basically, your healthcare is free.
But other than that, this was great!
Date: 29/01/15 - 11:01 pm Title: Chapter 1
I haven't read a fic like this in such a long time and I'm so excited for it because it sounds so good and interesting! I love Clara, my favourite bit had to be when she started yelling at Ashton for stealing the wrong potion from her, if you're going to be a thief at least be a good thief. Mei sounds like a really interesting character and I hope that she's involved throughout the rest of the story (which I'm guessing she probably is).
Date: 16/10/14 - 06:36 am Title: Chapter 6
This is probably the most amazing fanfic I've ever read. Like, you could publish this as a book and I would buy it without question. Please update soon! :D
Oh wow, thank you so very, very much! I'm incredibly flattered! ^//^
Date: 29/09/14 - 02:58 am Title: Chapter 6
Alright, so first and foremost I hope you haven't killed off da bae Maria, because I seriously dunno what I would do. Cry, protest, join the dark side, maybe? (they apparently have cookies). I don't think you have, but, like, please don't because I'm on a diet and all that sugar would be bad for me, ok?
Madame Mankin's reminds me of Harry Potter haha, I appreciated that loads! I'm super intrigued and am basically like a puppy waiting at the door for you to update (even though you've just updated today... well, what can I say? I'm an impatient little girl!!)
me hopping for them updates:
Date: 29/09/14 - 02:42 am Title: Chapter 3
Darn, too late to vote for that Favorite Author award, but fear not for that day will come again soon. I know it!
Also, Calum <3
Their frienship is very sweet and Cal seems to care about Clara a lot if coming to see her first thing after a mission is any indication.
Psychometry... wow that's interesting - as in some type of legilimens? But only for the past? C0000L~~
I'm excited to continue reading ahhhh
Date: 29/09/14 - 02:26 am Title: Chapter 2
MARIA I WAS RIGHT OMG - YOUR WRITING IS BRILLIANT!!
It flows so well and I was beyond ridiculously engaged the whole time... it's incredibly unbelieveable! That Prakse lady was decidedly incredibly sinister even though she only made a brief appearance. I somehow think she'll be the new villain in my nightmares woops.
Date: 14/09/14 - 11:28 am Title: Chapter 5
OK HONESRLU I NEED CALUM TO LIVE MOSTLy BECAUSE MY NAME IA CARA QHICH IS CLOSE TO CLARA AND HES HER BEST FRIEND
also because I'm in love w him a lil bit
I'm kind of in love with all your reviews, hahaha <3
Date: 13/09/14 - 06:59 pm Title: Chapter 5
MARIA THE CLARA AND ASHTON IN THIS CHAPTER WAS BEAUTIFUL AND I AM V HAPPY ABOUT IT. Ashton is so awkward lol I love it. And Clara's a badass, being the way she was with Ashton despite the fact that she's pretty much scared half to death at this point. But, it's cool. I love it.
mICHAEL MY LOVE WHAT A SWEETIE WHAT A STRESS RELIEVING DOOFUS I LOVE HIM. I knew I would but like, ugh. My heart is tripping over itself.
I'M SO EXCITED YOU UPDATED THIS STORY OKAY I'M PUMPED.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN NEXT!
THE CLARA AND ASHTON IN THIS CHAPTER WAS EVERYTHING TO ME. Clara's my little baby and she's so resilient, I'm so proud of her. AND WRITING MICHAEL MADE ME SO HAPPY, HE'S SUCH A WONDERFUL DOOFUS.
I LOVE YOU!
Date: 21/08/14 - 06:17 pm Title: Chapter 4
"I chose the one that ended with me laughing maniacally" SCREW YOU MARIA EVEN THOUGH I KNOW WHAT'S COMING IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS MY HEART MY B ABY CALUM I'M STILL FREAKING OUT MY LOVE MY HEART OWWWWWW
But hey I don't think I mentioned how much the guy turned into Ashton at the end like I kinda saw it coming but at the same time I didn't see it coming at all and yeah I'm still in a lot of pain SEND HELP RIGHT NOW IMMEDIATELY
Date: 21/08/14 - 12:23 pm Title: Chapter 3
This was such a good chapter! All of the background information was v v helpful, and Calum's introduction was perfect! I'm so hooked on this story...can't wait to read about what happens next :)
Thank you so much, Caiti! I feel so happy whenever I read you reviews <3
Date: 10/08/14 - 09:40 pm Title: Chapter 3
Wow this has become one of my favorite au stories on this site! Awesome job and update ASAP! If you wouldn't mind checking out my story Letting Loose that's be amazing! If you want leave a review!
Thank you so much for all the lovely reviews! ^^